Rick's burden
by baddie-boop
Summary: Tells the story of young Rick Sanchez and his time as a member of Flesh Curtains. After a visit to a distant planet, he's suddenly burdened with a love struck alien who's own past causes several issues for the Flesh Curtains. RickxOC This is my first fanfic EVER, so please review! :)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Rick tries to not remember the day he lost his virginity, nor the woman he had lost it too. But sometimes, when Flesh Curtains had just finished a show and were perusing bars with a groupie on each arm, he would pass by some saggy, croaky-sounding, bottle blonde and would shudder at the very memory. And while his admirer's would ask him what was wrong or if he was cold, Birdperson and Squanchy would immediately know what was wrong. Rick had told them long ago of the housewife whose pool he cleaned and spent a horrendous evening with in the garage, and even they felt for Rick. Everybody's first time is less than pleasant, but Rick's time spent flopping about on foam noodles was quite the horror fest.

Years later, Rick was just as skinny, but far less sweaty, nervous, and lacking in the bedroom. In fact, he had gained quite a talent with "pleasuring". Rick's previous code of never really saying "no" had earned him a bundle of STD's, but also a far amount of experience - that sometimes caused people to be a bit too clingy. After the band had done a show on Planet Parblesnops, Rick had spent the night with a Greepybobe who refused to let Rick leave the morning after - claiming that the orifice Rick had "discovered" had changed the Greepybobe's life, and Rick was to stay...forever. Long story short, that Greepybobe was Flesh Curtain's keyboard player, and self-titled fiancee to Rick, for a few months until Rick managed to abandon him at a Blips and Chitz's BDSM simulator. And this sort of thing occurred on-and-off throughout Flesh Curtain's run. If the band ever had an extra player, it was usually someone that had become attached to Rick. and would eventually leave on their own terms. Rick, except for a few psychotic bitches, never really had a situation where he broke a heart, as he had the patience to wait for his admirer to lose interest in him. That was until Nimba.

Flesh Curtains was burdened by Nimba after a visit to the Woostra Planet, a planet dominated by what was the equivalent to a human male: an inseminating gender that was incapable of actually bearing an offspring, known as a Wooster. Maybe if Rick had been a little bit more sober and not so busy snorting Collaxion crystals, he would've been baffled by the infantile Woosters crawling amongst the streets of Woostra. But, when you have two busty aliens whipping up Corpse Revivers, even you would be a little distracted.

Actually, Rick didn't even realize that Woostra was single-gender planet until after the rocking show, when he entered the after party to find hoards of blue-skinned, muscled, and hairy fans who had no intention of spending a night with Rick. After two hours of just signing head shots of himself, Rick slumped down at the bar - ordering two shots to hopefully revive himself from this dreary situation. But from the corner of his eye, he noticed the slender hand that passed him his glass. Whipping around, he realized that his bartender, noticeably curvier, softer looking than the rest, was the equivalent of a female: a Woostar.

"W-whoa, where'd - **burp** \- you come from, lil' lady?"

Uncharacteristically, Nimba didn't have one of her usual loud responses. Instead, she mumbled something and looked down at her toes. It wasn't until a slight blush formed on her cheeks that Rick realized how... _small_ the Woostar was. And not in height, but in...frame.

Rick would be lying if he said he hadn't ever been with a minor. Never a child! Rick was into weird stuff, but not _that_ weird. But, yeah, due to Rick never really bothering to ask for anything other than consent, it was very possible that he had been with someone under age a few times. But Nimba not only looked to be quite juvenile, but was certainly not as inviting as the past "youths" he had been with. And when she began to stutter and look down, Rick was met with a rare moment of actual compassion for another being.

"Hey-hey, don't w-worry about it, sweetheart. No need to get all - **burp** \- 'blushy' on me or whatever. 'Cause I-I-I ain't that kinda guy. I won't try anything on you.", He said, absentmindedly dunking down his two shots before overlooking the crowd behind him. Unknown to him, the Woostar, behind her bleached locks, was now staring at him intensely.

"Really? You wouldn't ever...make me do something I didn't want to do?", She murmured, now a little bit more clearer than before.

"Aw, n-nah, Sweetheart. Imma let you d-do you - oop! Gotta fly! I think I see a p-possible - **burp** \- 'closet queen' out on the loose."

And with that, he dissipated in with the crowd of broad shoulders and strong jaws. But Nimba's eyes never stopped searching for him.

Rick woke up that morning feeling horrible. He was in the pitiful flying piece of crap that Squanchy liked to call a spaceship, that, despite its decrepit nature - with alien roaches and ominous stains, did have multiple rooms for all three members - making it a far better mode of transportation over Rick's cramped flying saucer. His room was possibly the most grotesque area, with it containing a few raunchy posters, liters of crumpled beer cans, and a single, soiled mattress. And today, he woke to find somebody else in that bed with him.

While waking up accompanied wasn't uncommon, Rick clearly remembered that the highly confused and questioning Wooster, who had scuttled from his room in the wee hours of the morning, was suppose to be his only guest. And, even more perplexing, was that the figure under his blanket was something of a voluptuous shape. Rubbing out the sleep from his bloodshot eyes, Rick ripped away the blanket to find fucking Phoebe Cates.

 _The_ Phoebe Cates, or, more commonly known as Linda Barrett from _Fast Times at Ridgemont High._ Rick rubbed his eyes, but when he still saw the sleeping brunette by his side, he chose to take more drastic measures. Using a stray fork amongst the clutter, he harshly stabbed himself in the knee - drawing droplets of blood where the feeling of searing pain formed. Now, Rick was fully awake - but Phoebe Cates was still there.

He flung himself out of bed, not minding the brisk cold air that came due to him wearing nothing but his usual choker and wristband. So many things were wrong with this situation. Phoebe Cates, the real one at least, had been dead for years and was no longer the fantasy of every teenage boy in the 80's. The only reason Rick even knew of her was because of the old VCR tapes he found in a garbage dump as a kid. And, after seeing the famous "swimming pool scene" just once, Rick spent the ages of 13 t o14 jacking himself off to that very image replaying in his head. And now, here she was. In his bed. The long deceased woman of his dreams was sleeping in his bed. And Rick couldn't really recall all of last night, but he was pretty sure he would've remembered traveling to another dimension to fetch young Phoebe Cates and bringing her back to his original one. With all of his "experimenting" beneath bed sheets last night, when would he have found time to attain a fucking deceased sex idol.

Hurriedly, Rick pulled on some pants and rushed off to Squanchy's room. Flinging the door open, not even perturbed by Squanchy's wearing of a noose while doing some "frowned upon" activities, Rick asked, "Did - **burp** \- did we travel back in time a-a-and bring back a young Phoebe Cates?"

"Who!?" was all Squanchy said. Groaning, Rick moved onto Birdperson's room, but was only met with a similar response. The three ended up huddled around Rick's doorway, all staring at the now empty bed.

"Rick, you appear to be hallucinating, for the 'Phoebe Cates' you speak of is not visible to your peers.", Birdperson remarked as Rick gawked at his empty room. Rick began to stutter something, but stopped when all three heard the sound of humming from the kitchen.

And there, all three found Phoebe Cates, wearing chunky socks and Rick's old, sweaty, oversized muscle tee he had worn last night, standing at a sizzling frying pan. When she turned to find three pairs of wide eyes all staring at her, she simply chimed "Good Morning! Won't you come eat?". Numbly, Rick sat down while Squanchy and Birdperson relaxed into their seats, unphased by what they believed to just be another one of Rick's "admirers" who would be hanging with the band until she ended up drifting away. But Rick was terrified. While he questioned his sanity, he never questioned his memory. He was a genius after all! Every textbook he read was, word by word, imprinted into his brain. But now, it seemed he was forgetting whole days spent picking up women from alternate realities.

Calmly, Phoebe Cates put a stray can and banana peel from the floor into the frying pan, humming as she did so. The three then eyed each other, wondering if maybe this Phoebe Cates was blind or something.

"Um, you know you can't really...squanch that. Right?" Squanchy said.

"Oh, yeah. Probably. I mean, everything I know about human cooking came from Rick's fantasies - so, I guess that's not much." She said, nonchalantly.

"Uh, what?"

"Don't you remember me?", She said to Rick, placing a plate of grilled banana peel and beer can on the table. "We talked at the bar last night."

"Uh, no. I think I-I would've remembered a conversation with fricken' Phoebe Cates."

"Oh no, I'm not _really_ Phoebe Cates!"

"Pardon?" Birdperson said.

"I was your bartender from last night!"

The memory of a white haired, green skinned, blushing teenage Woostar came into Rick's head.

"Are you sure!? Because the person who gave me my drinks was this...blushing teenage fish girl named...uh...eh...Ni-something….Nimbsy...Niva….?."

"The name's Nimba. And that's how all Woostar's look. Usually."

"What happened then? When did you become so...different?"

"Don't you see?"

Rick, again, looked to his friends, wondering if the answer was obvious and he was just oblivious. But they all look just as confused as him.

"When a Woostar falls in love with another, she changes to resemble their deepest fantasy!"

Nimba then dropped to the ground to retrieve a stray tennis ball that had rolled into her ankles, which she then attempted to juice. It wasn't until Squanchy cleared his throat that Rick came back his stunned stupor.

"Um...why are you trying to squanch that tennis ball, Nimba?"

Not even turning from the now flattened sphere, she calmly said, "Well, I'm Rick's fantasy. And one of Rick's fantasy is to have Phoebe Cates make him breakfast. However, he didn't specify what he wants Phoebe Cates to make him for breakfast - or, really, how to cook either. Based on that untouched plate of banana peel I just served you, I must be doing something wrong right now."

"Well, typically, a warmed banana peel and tin can is not considered edible by the human race.", Birdman explained.

"Well, I can learn to cook. And, then, I can make Rick as much breakfast as he wants."

Finally, after being in stunned silence for so long, Rick spoke up.

"So is that the plan? You're just here. Making us all breakfast? And I can have you look like...whatever I want?"

"Anything that your heart desires!", She said, placing a glass full of neon fuzz on the table.

Rick then gave Birdperson and Squanchy a familiar, suave side eye - one that was seen every time Flesh Curtains had just gained a new backup bassist or something, that would, eventually, be abandoned. The three all silently agreed that the olive skinned woman, humming as she washed plates at the kitchen, was only a temporary addition to the band. And, in that moment, Rick even considered himself fortunate. He **had** picked up an alien that would always be extremely attractive in his eyes. What could go wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

p id="docs-internal-guid-268144c9-3ada-3264-3941-8df079dd1e8a" dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"It turned out, everything /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"could /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"go wrong. Very wrong. After three months of enduring Nimba's constant perky nature combined with horrible clumsiness and infuriating nosiness, Flesh Curtains was extremely willing to abandon the olive skinned woman at some desert planet. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Rick was first to crack when it came to Nimba. Well, he didn't become any /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"meaner /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"to her than before, but he certainly lost all attachment to her. On Nimba's first night as the "latest member of Flesh Curtains", she quite adamantly told Rick that there would be no coitous until the two were married. Actually, he couldn't even really touch her. Whenever he would snake his calloused hands down her bottom or around her hips, she would clamp her arms to her sides - pinching his already sore knuckles. It didn't matter what Rick did. Nimba would not budge on her rule of chastity. He tried fake tears, begging, seduction, and, eventually (after a particularly lonely New Year's Eve), real tears. On one occasion, he had kept his bathroom door unlocked while taking a shower. When Nimba entered, as Rick planned for her to do, she would her some sweet, needy voice whimpering her name from the bathroom. And when she entered, she found Rick, hunched over and urgently tugging away at his member, who then became bashful once realizing Nimba's presence. Of course, this was all an act, that Nimba fell for. And though she did step in under the shower head to kiss Rick's forehead, she ended Rick's optimism when she handed him a bottle of lotion and sweetly cooed, "Remember to lock the door next time"./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"After that humiliating incident, Rick moved Nimba onto the couch, which she decorated with various house plants she collected on Flesh Curtains various stops. On occasion, from her new bedroom, Nimba would overhear Rick's late night crying. The sound of shuddering, anguished sobs could be heard, emanating from his bedroom door, by all three housemates. But Birdperson and Squanchy had learned a long time ago that, Rick, who's old wounds and scars would weigh him down for eternity, was to not be bothered during one of his "therapy sessions". Often, he was plastered or smacked during these periods, which was really the only time that Rick ever showed off the pain he dealt with, and wasn't safe to be around. Nimba, despite Squanchy's warnings, ventured into Rick's rancid bedroom and, finding him passed out in a liter of cans, tried to lift him out. Wildly, Rick swung his fist into her jaw before slumping into a wall. By the time blood was oozing through the fingers clasped around Nimba's mouth, Rick realized what he had done. So Rick's night of de-stressing and alone time was spent icing Nimba's mouth as she sobbed. Rick had reprimanded her for entering his room, hiding the small feeling of guilt that only Birdperson could tell he harbored. But when Nimba entered his room /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"again/spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;", even Birdperson was slightly annoyed by Nimba's persistence to see Rick at his worst. Nimba's prying got so bad that Rick would actually have to plan his moments of grieving and hide away in a closet where Nimba wouldn't find him. And then she would have the actual audacity to ask him about his father, about everything that went wrong, about all the things he tried to hide away. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"And Nimba was not a good secret keeper, though she thoroughly believed herself to be one. When Nimba had caught Squanchy sniveling over an Animal Rescue ad, she wholeheartedly promised to not share his sorrow. However, when dinner came around, Squanchy found Rick snickering behind his beer can and was soon nicknamed "cry baby". But Squanchy would soon get his revenge. After an incident where Rick had gotten so plastered that he couldn't even control his bladder, Nimba was tasked with cleaning the odorous pair of pants. While she was searching for a scrub, Rick was showing some busty fans the "lounge". Just as he was about to introduce his ten-foot-bong, Nimba emerged from the laundry room, loudly yelling, "Rick! I can't seem to wash out the pee from your pants! I think you'll have to buy some new - oop, you have guests!". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Actually it had become quite a habit for Nimba to not only continuously break assorted glass bongs, spill cups of water, and pry into the business of others, but to also scare off the various flings that were brought home. Specifically those of Rick. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Though Rick had learned to live with Nimba's celibacy, he certainly wasn't going to join in such an activity. They had never really talked about it, but Rick, after his constant insulting of her and kicking her out onto the couch, thought that Nimba knew they weren't in a committed, or at least, monogamous, relationship. Evidently not, though, as the first time Rick bought a groupie home since Nimba's arrival, the three-breasted woman was chased out with a broom by a livid Nimba. Rick, agitated from a week of no sex at all, unloaded a slew of insults on small Nimba - but was met with a small slap on the head from his source of anger. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Squanchy ridiculed Rick for /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"days /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"over that whole embarrassing incident. But, with how karma usually works , Squanchy was soon met with a similar pain. He had brought home a citizen of Rudox planet: an anthropomorphic canine who Squanchy was eager to entertain for the evening. The two passed by Nimba's couch, now encircled by various house plants, when Squanchy's date murmured something about the decrepit state of Nimba's bed. And Birdperson, who always noticed the smallest of things, shuddered when he spotted the stink eye Nimba gave to the woman. Later into the night, Birdperson would be awoken - this time by a shrill scream. Running to Squanchy's room, he found his date, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around herself, running out the ship with plastic spiders caught in her hair. Though it couldn't be proven that it was Nimba's doing, she was the only one who would've enjoyed scaring the woman that had insulted her plants. After several incidents similar to these, one of them involving even a severed fish head in the toilet, Rick and Squanchy had taken to going to their one-night stand's bedroom./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"After weeks of this sort of torture, even Birdperson was incapable of defending Nimba's idiocy. Though he wasn't as vocal about his disdain as Squanchy and Rick, who now referred to Nimba solely by the name of "burra", he made it clear that all time spent with Nimba was as stressful as a babysitter's shift. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"Despite the general hate towards her, Nimba always remained cheery. Especially towards Rick, who, every morning, when she made him fried sock, would be reminded about the "undying love" she had for him. And when Flesh Curtains went to meet with the manager of a club, Nimba would interrupt Rick's greeting so as to introduce him as her "soulmate" to the somber businessmen. When Flesh Curtains did land a gig, and was on stage, Nimba's shrill cries of love for Rick could be heard even over the loudest of fangirls. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"So, in short, Flesh Curtains was /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"desperate /spanspan style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"to lose this smiley, high pitched burden. After a week of enduring her, the trio had left her at Blips and Chipz when she was distracted by a claw crane - only to be called by the arcade's staff, who, sounding rather irritable, stated that Nimba had been wailing, at the top of her lungs, since their departure - and was to be collected immediately, or none of them would ever be allowed to play a single arcade game there ever again. Begrudgingly, the three retrieved Nimba, who was beaming the whole ride back into space. Despite the initial failure at freeing themselves, the three vowed to give it a shot - but ended up being so packed with gigs, touring, outrunning scorned friends, and so forth that they were too busy to make a bullet proof plan that would permanently separate them from Rick's stalker. So, Nimba lived with them for three months, taking more and more of a toll on each of their once burgeoning sex life, spreading the army of house plants around her couch, and even learning to cook a few meals. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"span style="font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"And then June came around…/span/p 


	3. Chapter 3

Rick, studded with various bruises, lip stick stains, and even a black eye, stumbled out of a rowdy brothel, the ruckus from within quieting as the back door swung shut behind him. He let out a snicker as he lurked down a dark alley, passing sleeping beggars and stray dogs gnawing at an old boot. On Planet Vexabond, the cold season was just setting, and Rick had taken to wearing an oversized, shoddy leather jacket he had found in a garbage dump. From its pockets, he pulled a pack of cigarettes that he lit and placed before his yellowing teeth. Had he been slightly sober, he may have noticed the stranger that lurked at the alley's end, who, from beneath the brim of his hat, stared at Rick with intense focus. In fact, Rick didn't even know of his existence until the stranger grabbed hold of Rick's neck and slammed him into a brick wall.

Once his head stopped spinning, Rick looked into his attacker's intense glare - only to let out a snicker and reach for his pant's fly while murmuring, "A-all you had to do was ask". For one brief moment, there was a hint of bashfulness in the stranger's eyes. But that quickly changed to rage before he tightened his grip on Rick's neck and hissed, "I'm not here for that, idiot!"

"O-oh, then are you here to mug me? Because of you - **burp** \- w-want my money, yer gonna have to, uh, speak to the four breasted vixen I gave it aaaaall away to."

"Good lord, I'm not here for anything like that!" began the stranger, who then placed a knife towards Rick's protruding Adam's apple,"I need to know where the Woostar is."

"The wha?"

"The Woostar! I know you have her! She's made no attempt to be discreet...especially at your concerts."

"Oo- **burp** -oooh, you mean Nimba!"

"Yes, that's her name."

"Yeah, yeah. You can take her back! What are you, her dad or somethin'? B-b-because, believe me, we won't nothing to do with 'er anymore...sir."

"What are you saying? You want nothing to do with her?"

"Nah, dawg! I mean, I a-actually - **burp** \- like psychotic. But your daughter is-is too much. Even-even for someone like me."

"Um. Ok." The stranger then put the knife back inside his long coat, looking rather dumbfounded as he stepped away from Rick. Now, no longer dizzy from the grasp around his throat , Rick could see the distinct insect-like face beneath the wide hat, and realized, though he wasn't particularly phased by it, that this man was not Nimba's father.

" S-s-so what's the dealio, mi amigo? What - **burp** \- what could you possibly want with someone as a-annoying as Nimba?"

"That's confidential?"

"I-I mean, you are clear-clearly not her father. I - yeah, I realize that now. And, this is - this is just a guess, but I think you were hired to come and get 'er."

"What's it to you?", He hissed, reaching into his coat for his knife once more.

"Nothin', friend. Don't make no difference to me."

"Oh. Alright."

Rick gave him a sleepy, brain dead grin, while wiping some vomit from his stubble, before letting out a loud burp and then warmly telling the stranger to follow him. As the two winded through various drunks, fighting couples, and self-advertising tarts, Rick rambled on about his band's latest EP and his long time association with Vexabond's infamous brothels, his speech becoming more slurred as he sipped from his flask.

The stranger, close to strangling the babbling drunk by his side, was pleased once they reached the decrepit ship, which resembled a L-shaped dumpster more so than an actual spacecraft, which they boarded. Inside, the stranger immediately noticed the piles of trash and smell of burnt food that wafted through the air. While most of the inside was dark, a warm light emanated from what he assumed to be the kitchen. For a moment, he worried that Rick was just some insane drunk who had lured him into his ship. But, over the sound of laughing and clattering, he heard the ever so familiar Woostra anthem being hummed by a feminine voice. She was here.

"H-hey, uh, Nimba, this guy is-is here to see you."

The humming faded out, and with the sudden bout of silence, the stranger knew that she had become cautious. He heard her reply, nervously, "Oh y-yeah? Who?"

"I dunno. He didn't, uh, g-gimme his-his, uh, name. Say, what is your name?"

"Oh. Um. Splint", the stranger murmured, slightly distracted by the forest of house plants covering a ratty couch.

"'Splint'?! R- **burp** -rough childhood?"

Just then a click could be heard in the darkness, and Splint turned to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun. On the other end was Nimba, who, for the first time, had a glare that was so cold and threatening that it even sent chills down Rick's spine.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no n-need for guns. At least, not by some-somebody as clutzy as you.", Rick said, holding his hands up like Splint. But Nimba, despite her usual constant abiding to Rick, completely ignored him. Instead, a strange gibberish poured out of her mouth that Rick couldn't understand.

"гคєђ ย๏א ʇภєร ʇคђʇ гєђʇคŧ א๓ ʇเ รคฬ"

Splint said nothing, instead looking calmly into Nimba's eyes. She seemed to become even more enraged.

"ภเคﻮค єן๏ђ ʇเђร ʇคђʇ ๏ʇ ﻮภเภгยʇєг гєשєภ ๓'เ ʇคђʇ кςยŧ ʇคŧ ʇคђʇ ןןєʇ ภคς ย๏א ןןєฬ"

Again, Splint said nothing, and Nimba prepared to pull the trigger - only for Squanchy, absolutely annihilated, to burst in - prompting Nimba, for something of a nanosecond, to turn away from her opponent. But within that nanosecond, Splint had Nimba thrashing about in a chokehold and her gun on the floor. Splint's grip made Nimba turn blue, saliva sputtering from her lips, and, for a brief moment, her olive skin flickered back to it's original light green. Gasping for breath, Nimba lost her Phoebe Cates appearance entirely, and. in the process, went down a size - causing her to slither out from her attacker's hold. Splint was then distracted when Birdperson, appearing from the shadows, pistol whipped him so hard he fell to the floor.

And there they laid. Two aliens. Completely out of it.

Splint awoke to find himself handcuffed to a sink pipe, with roaches crawling around his feet and mold growing in the grooves of bathroom tile. Groggily, he looked around to find a glaring Nimba (now back as Phoebe Cates), Rick, Birdperson, and Squanchy looming over him.

"Why the squanch did you come here and squanch everything up?", Squanchy asked, clearly upset over the buzzkill that had just occurred.

Splint remained silent, instead, through his compound eyes, focused on the intense glare Nimba burned into him, and then saw the switchblade, within her pocket, that she flashed to him. Answering more so to Nimba than anyone else, he finally spoke.

"Look, I think you already know why I'm here. You're needed back home!"

"Really? You squanch us to believe that some parents concerned about their squanch would send an assassin?", Squanch said. Splint looked away from Nimba's intense gaze, and into Squanchy's green eyes.

"Well, it's not just her parents that are concerned, fella. It's the entire Wooster planet. And they were going to pay me a hell of a lotta money to get her home. So, princess, why don't you just pack your things, grow up, and come with me."

"What's so fricken' s-special about Nimba? I-I was pretty sure that-that the Wooster planet didn't care much for Woostars.", Rick said.

"Are you kidding? Woostars are _extremely_ special since - "

Nimba abruptly cleared her throat, awkwardly looking away from the others. Splint then gave her a mischievous look, having realized how he has the upper hand.

"Obviously, I'm not going to get what I want. But if you pay me right now, and let me leave, then I _won't_ kill you."

"Pardon my rudeness, but expecting payment is foolish, strange guest, as we could easily kill you and never have to think about any of this again."

"True. But if Princess doesn't want me spilling her secret, then you four aren't going to lay a hand on me."

Rick saw all color drain from Nimba's face before she hurried off to her room. From the doorway, he saw her search through the mound of pots around her couch. She pulled out one containing a cactus, unearthed it, and, from the bottom of the container, retrieved a small drawstring sack. Hurrying back into the cramped bathroom, she opened the sack just enough for Splint, alone, to see into it, but a visible bright glow emanated from the opening.

"Will this do?", She asked, referring to the sack's contents that were causing Splint's shoulders to droop out of awe. He quickly composed himself and nodded. She then turned to Squanchy and, as if in charge, asked him to uncuff Splint. Despite some initial disagreement, Squanchy did uncuff the insect, who rose to the ground, rubbed his sore wrists, took the drawstring sack, and slipped on through the bathroom doorway. The four watched him calmly head towards the door, but, just before exiting, he stopped and turned towards them.

"Before I go...you should know that you can find safety with the Gazorpazorpian females. They feel for your kind."

And with that, he was gone.

At 2:00 AM, Nimba is busy cutting away at her long brown hair. With every brunette lock that falls to the floor, the more she comes to accept the fact that she'll be living on the streets soon. Amongst the stray dogs, and aimless drunks, and jittery dealers. And long hair, which needs to be brushed and washed, will surely tangle and knot when she's living in an alley.

Nimba's not stupid. She is stubborn., clutzy, and in love. But not stupid. And she knows that her roommates have been dying to get rid of her. And now, with assassins chasing after her, they have even more incentive to drop her off - or murder her in her sleep. And before they can get to that breaking point, she has to leave them at some planet that she knows will be easy to live on.

For a brief minute, she's hit with that drowning feeling of existentialism and purpose. There really is no point for her to run. She might be able to prolong the inevitable. For years - decades, even. But, deep in her gut, she knows that the thing she's running from, the horrible fate ahead of her - is unavoidable. Even now, from the bathroom, she hears the murmurs of Rick, Birdperson, and Squanchy. They're probably talking about how they should leave her now, while they still can.

Unknown to Nimba, they're not planning her departure. Actually, they're planning something far, far worse.

"Squanchy, while I do enjoy copious amounts of money, I don't think it should be earned by doing such a cruel task.", Birdperson said, sitting at the kitchen table with his two other friends.

"You've got to be squanching me, Birdperson! We've done things way more sleazy than this! And not only will we get a ton of cash, but we'll get rid of that squanching bitch _and_ be named as the hero who returned the girl to her parents!"

"This is true. And while Nimba's presence I have found to be...irritable, it's clear that whatever she's escaping from is troublesome and she is most likely undeserving off."

"The only thing she's squanching from is strict parents! That's not so squanchy. At least, not in comparison to other things!"

The two then looked to Rick, who was chugging down a beer all through the argument. He then slammed down the can, let out a loud burp, and said, "Squanchy's right. Nimba's gotta go. I mean, she-she's cute...at times. B-But she's just trouble. And for-for all that she's had us deal with, I think we d-deserve some payement."

"Guys?", A soft voice squeaks. The three, startled, whip around to find Nimba, which her hair noticeably cut quite poorly into a pixie style. Her eyes, wide and fearful, suggest that she's heard their conversation. And even though Rick has never before cared about her opinion of him, he's now genuinely afraid that maybe she has heard everything and will run out crying.

But instead she softly murmurs, "I'm sorry about all the trouble I've caused you guys these past three months. I know that I'm not easy to live with. And I'll go now. Before anymore chaos happens.'

For a moment, there's just a heavy silence, as Squanchy, Birdperson, and Rick awkwardly look to eachother for answers. Without even realizing it, Rick begins speaking.

"Aw, n-no, s-s-s-sweetie. We'll, we'll be, uh, taking you to the, uh, the watchacallit-", Rick murmured, rising from his seat to stand behind Nimbia and put his hands on her shoulders.

"-the Gazorpazorpian females.", Squanchy interjected.

"Y-yeah, them. The gazorpazorps or whatever. Ya know, for all your, uh, your...wonderful cooking. It's the least we could do."

More silence fills the room, as Nimbia stares at all three. From Birdperson, to Squanchy, and, when she finally reaches him, Rick - who notices that tears have begun to form in her eyes. Knocking the wind from out of him, she gives Rick a tight bear hug and whispers, "This is the nicest thing anyone's done for me. Ever."

Rick looks to Squanchy, who just shrugs. But when he looks to Birdperson, he just turns away - possibly being one of the coldest responses he ever received from his old friend. Awkwardly, he patted the girl's back before pushing her off, saying she was getting too mushy and what not.

But as he walked away, a sickening feeling began to form in his gut, which he blamed on his heavy drinking. But even after Rick had spewed his guts into the toilet, the feeling still lingered within him, not planning on dissipating anytime soon.


End file.
